New Age - Wings Of Love

Is Yoga for dogs anti-God ?

Editors: “O.K., Zeena, lets see. You want to write your very first blog article for WingsOfLove about yoga…. for..…Dogs??....like, as in canines, right?”

But you’re gonna LOVE it!” I exclaimed.

“See, as I was searching the net for a copy of ‘The Cat Art of War’, I got cosmically lucky, because I happened to notice an interesting little article. And, as I often do, I happened to read the response to said article.

This reaction was so disturbing, so terrifying in its implications for the future that I JUST HAVE to write about it!”

And of course the editors said “Oh..whatever…just get to work. Heres some tuna.” (My editors are sooo easy! tee-hee..)

First, a warning!

BEWARE! If you are easily offended, I mean reeeaally easily offended, do not read this. Stop reading right now! Because if you are one of those types, you will take it personally. And since I don’t even know you, that would be silly. Yes?

To start, I like Yoga. Always have. Heck, I’m a Cat for petes sake! We invented it! Oh, I know, you’re sitting there thinking apes-I mean-people came up with it.

Maybe......but only after watching Cats!

But honestly, since I read this article and its ‘response’ I have been in fear..In Fear! I tell you! For the very future of Yoga! Because I am told that these kind of 'people' are everywhere!

The article was apparently a simple reporting of an animal shelter up in Washington state. And once in a while in this shelter, they practice yoga...........For Dogs.

Look, Zeena Warrior Princess is not a species-ist! Hey...dogs are fine, in my book. As long as they stay outside……and keep the barking to a minimum….and don’t slobber! Eeew!

Oh, and -this goes without saying-...and never..ever…come near my Tuna! Ever!

Follow those simple rules, we’re cool.

And, being the mellow-nature-kitty that I am, I suppose the occasional mutt can get some good from Yoga. I mean of course they can’t do any of the really technical stuff or anything, jeeez- they’re not Cats after all! But still, I don't see any big problem with it.

But this lady does. Big time.

And it was her response to this innocent little missive that is...well,kind of....unbelievable.
And very, very scary.

The response? Well, read for yourself;

“I just saw this article and I am a little bit peeved. The reporter thinks it's VERY CUTE for dogs to be taking yoga - but this is a serious issue that people just don't seem to understand!

Well, o.k.- doesn’t like it, No biggie. She doesn’t think it’s cute. Fine.

(That's not the scary part yet...wait....)

After all, doesn’t seem like a real big prob, huh? So somebody-oh, I don’t know- could be Lindsay Lohan- wants to take Piddles in to have his chakra re-aligned, where’s the harm, right?

Ah, but then she continues;

"I know that people like their dogs and I love my Heinz 57 mutt Cubbie but for heavens sake God-loving people do not take their dogs to yoga or go to yoga themselves because yoga to put it politely is anti-God. Things might be different in Seattle, but here in Pahrump there is no doggie yoga."!!

AHA! You of the human-faiths! There it is!

Yoga..is anti…God!!! Gasp!....I..I think I may faint!... It’s quite simply, an ....Abomination!.... Heathens!

Now stop right there you!- Stop laughing at the name Pahrump and missing the point entirely.

(Note: Now, no ones making fun of Pahrump here! Besides being the home of radio personality Art Bell, one of the many other fine points of Pahrump, Nevada, according to their official website, is this:

‘Former farming land is being developed into housing at the highest rate in the state!’

So take THAT Seattle!- Ed.)

AArrgg! I HATE when the editors interrupt! Anyway....

The human-gal continues;

"Yoga originated with a blatantly anti-Christian philosophy, and that philosophy has not changed. It teaches one to focus on oneself instead of on the one true God. It encourages its participants to seek the answers to life's difficult questions within their own conscience instead of in the Word of God."

Oh! I see! Hmmm…so...Yoga is...the work of the Devil!!! I must say I had not heard that before! I have heard that at its core it is committed to such things as peace, harmony, and a respect for nature. And I also know that some people refer to Yoga as a religion, but I really didn’t see anywhere in the article claiming anyone was trying to convert the little Daschunds and Shar Pei-Boxer mixes away from….umm….well, I guess this lady assumes these dogs were all Catholics. Or maybe Lutheran.

I mean, Jeepers! How dare someone try to bring peace and health into their (dogs) lives, by “focusing on oneself”! The very nerve!

And then this nice lady ends-don’t they always?- with a ‘quote’ from the Holy Bible. (I am assuming here that this is the same Holy Bible the rest
of us know about....)

"It also leaves one open to deception from God's enemy, who searches for victims that he can turn away from God (1 Peter 5:8)."

So I looked up that quote. I think she may have taken some teensy literary liberties there, but heck, look who’s writing this article! So I wont 'throw stones!'..ha ha ha he...ooh..sorry.

Actually, the quote I found goes like this:

‘Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.’

(Oooh! Roaring Lions! I guess they had a big problem with Lions back in those days. Roaring ones anyway.)

Well, that quote seems somewhat different from what this lady had written, I think. Just a bit. A smidgen.

I never could find the exact quote this woman was talking about, but I am assured by Dr. Strangelove (our fantastic reviewer) that it in fact refers to the disciple Peter teaching the chosen of the evils of not only Yoga, but Pilates, exercise bikes, sweatbands, and the Suzanne Sommers Thigh-Master.

(But I should mention here that the editors have told me that I am not to listen to anything the Doctor tells me, so I am not too sure about that.)

I must admit to being unaware of any mention of Yoga in the Bible, but this lady is from Pahrump, so she must be pretty 'up' on this sort of thing. (Art Bell, remember?)

And the lesson here? Well, if you are inclined to heed this womans words- then By Golly Be Careful! -If you and your puppies must do the ‘down dog’,then...Do it for God! Yes! For God, apple pie, and the destruction of the American Farmland!

(And Warrior Princess thinks the lesson may also be:
Be very careful who you give a computer to!)

Yep-thats it.

And those are your words of wisdom from Zeena Mighty Warrior Princess
for this day!

Now, when those crazy editors and I can come to an agreement on this whole work vs. sleep/tuna schedule thing, I will return to grace you with my wondrous presence, and mystify and amaze all with more of my fabulously wise words!

Till then, go get me some Tuna! dammit!